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Dating and seduction


Setting expectations and priorities straight

I am not what you would call a seduction guru. I don't pretend to be able to score with any woman out there, yet the ones I do attract are exactly the ones I consider to be the greatest quality of women out there and find myself most attracted to. I don't have to constantly keep up facades but have rather simply become the man who is most attractive to the very women I find most inspiring. I have great relationships with such beautiful and joyous women of high character who share my passions, having to prioritize my time between them, leading them through out-of-this-world sex and threesomes, and with my main woman being my closest friend and supporter, enjoying every opportunity to please me or think up new sexy costumes.
  I am not going to help you pretend to be someone else - but if you instead think of who you would have to be for that to never again be necessary, this site will lay out the path for that journey to become easy, exciting and satisfying.

Before we start - 3 traps of PUA-thinking

When presenting these recommendations, you'll notice me distinguishing between the teachers who consider themselves pickup artists ("PUAs") and those who are balanced people with the whole package. Pickup can be great for learning specific techniques or for more closely understanding the dynamics involved in seduction, but sadly it's also a community plagued by an intense poverty mentality. If you do use pickup material, there are 3 limiting beliefs in particular you should be aware of and reject whenever you encounter them:

Identity and Goals

I am going to start off with identity, before going into even the most basic technique. Most people start out in the seduction community asking for techniques ("What should I say? What should I wear? What kind of body language should I have?") to appear more attractive, because they don't really know who they themselves are and why women would find them attractive. I have gone down that road, and discovered that rather than pretending to be a certain kind of man, it's a great deal easier to simply become that man. This is also the reason my first subpage is on choosing your partner wisely - the first step of all is to move away from desperation and become aware of what you want. When you make yourself aware of what kind of woman would be the best in the world for you, consider what kind of man would be the most attractive in the world for her. Never change yourself just to live up to what you think that is, but rather just notice how that image may provide a lot of really good ideas for how you want to live your own life. As you keep refining your goals, and keep using them for inspiration to develop an even cooler lifestyle, it becomes both fun and realistic to every day let yourself grow closer to the identity you want.

A first step for many is to become comfortable with your identity as a man. We have a massive problem in the Western world with males defining themselves as "guys" until they're about 40, have 2 children and figure that age alone have made them mature. I never realized this until David DeAngelo's On Being a Man made me aware of it and guided me through the transition to deliberately seeing myself as a man. This wasn't a hard transformation to make, but simply something that no part of society had ever equipped me to do. I can promise you that women only settle for the guys when they can't find a man. If you're a male above the age of 17, there's no reason you shouldn't allow yourself to become comfortable with your identity as a man. And when you also launch yourself passionately at some of the other topics I introduce, it turns out that it's actually quite easy to take it one step further and become a Renaissance man, in a world where most women are desperately starved for any man at all.

Being a man encompasses many things, but at the core of it is your awareness of yourself, what you believe in and prioritize, what your purpose is/how you choose to live your life, and your ability to remain true to those aspects of yourself, rather than outside pressure.

As you develop these aspects of yourself, you will find that you can begin stripping away every layer of facade and feel more powerful for it. The end goal isn't memorizing and faking the exact right lines to keep her enticed for a couple of dates, but rather the ability to just walk up to an exciting woman and say "Hi", confident that, if she's the kind of woman you deserve, any direction the conversation takes is going to build her attraction for you further.

Quick fixes

Realize that women are sexual creatures and don't judge them for it. Any physically and mentally healthy woman loves sex and likely has an even dirtier mind than yourself. This has to be part of both your rational and emotional world view, so you can truly embrace and empower these aspects of her. I can greatly recommend David Shade's The Secrets of Female Sexuality (.uk / .ca), which opened my reality to this fact. Women follow your lead: If you're the kind of man who can discuss or execute on sexual matters without a hint of guilt or judgement, you've freed her up to be more expressive to you than any man before you. And she will long for the opportunity to be so.

Become aware of any lingering "nice guy" tendencies in yourself and begin to stomp them out with a vengeance. We've been conditioned by society to think that "nice guys" are good and on the moral high ground, when in fact nothing could be further from the truth. This article quickly illustrates how "nice guys" are actually males who are afraid to genuinely express their own desires, and who try to manipulatively get what they want through covert contracts. Instead of just fucking taking his woman and letting her revel in his masculine desire, he might do the dishes and irrationally hope that she somehow realizes she was supposed to "let him" have sex with her out of appreciation. Men buying their women jewelry in the hope of blow jobs or the like would be a similar expression of these desperate covert contracts. If you're familiar with this warped line of thought and your woman didn't respond favorably, that's actually a very good sign for your future progress. You don't want her to "give you" sex for doing some chore (which by the way would make her feel extremely cheap), nor will she likely have been appreciative if she felt you incongruently trying to manipulate her into satisfying a desire rather than just voicing it and being the man who can safely lead her through it. The good news about curing nice guy is that it simply means becoming able to own your own desires and give voice to them, even if you have to erase a lot of old habits to get there. When you do start getting there, you will notice that you become a far more powerful leader, more attractive to women and that she becomes more capable of surrending completely to you in the bedroom. It's common to experience that you're not building something new, but rather stripping away layers of bullshit and conditioning, that have been clouding your true masculine being.   Raw masculine desire is the most addictive drug known to women, but only once you start being able to truly own those feelings, rather than trying to cover them up or being ashamed of them.

If you are dealing with neediness, work to get over it. Part of this is in becoming comfortable with pleasuring yourself - hell you can even become good at it or build up useful skill sets meanwhile. Just realizing that you are not utterly dependent on women for the physical aspect of pleasure will by itself raise your standards a lot (thereby making you more attractive), because you'll be able to pleasure yourself better than the average one-night-stand on a purely physical level, and you can focus on the women who actually seem like they could be a fun and exciting experience to you. Beyond maintaining physical balance, I have found myself benefitting from becoming more conscious of how I enjoy the emotional energy of female friends. In a period of my life when I was getting more in tune with my own body, and had recently let myself experience a tantra massage, I started becoming consciously aware of how there was a balance within me that wasn't being satisfied when I didn't occasionally enjoy the company of various types of women. Conversely, I also discovered that I could thoroughly enjoy the playful feminine energy of a woman without it necessarily having to be through sex. This both helped me stay on top of my game and relatively satisfied when I wasn't dating, but also enabled me to better enjoy periods of monogamy, by still enjoying the company of different types of women, even if just one of them sexually. Your mileage may vary on bringing this aspect of your needs into your conscious awareness, but it's something that you may enjoy and benefit from exploring nonetheless. By learning to handle physical and possibly also emotional aspects of your own balance, you will immediately gain the benefit of being a lot less panicked, desperate or stressed in your approach with women. Rather than being the man in a desert who will instantly throw himself at any glass of water to gulp it down without a second thought, you will find that women greatly prefer you to keep your basic needs met and instead being able to truly savor and appreciate an exquisite glass of wine.

Realize that both men and women are fallible and can get things wrong. This one is extremely basic, yet is a perspective-correction that some men are in desperate need of in today's post-feminist society. On this site, I am going to encourage the reality that everything in a relationship is ultimately your responsibility (because taking responsibility for your own outcome enables you to lead and control it), but that starts with acknowledging responsibility for your own needs and desires, as well as your choice of partner. As you allow yourself to grow as a person, you must also let yourself become aware of whether the women you interact with genuinely have your best interests at heart or are acting in expression of their own insecurities. A useful rule-of-thumb from Scot McKay is what he calls 'The Golden Rule in Reverse': If you find yourself under uncomfortable social pressure, ask yourself "Would I ever do to another, what is being done to me now?", and if the answer comes out false, don't hesitate to either stand your ground and call them out on it, or cut off relations and run for the hills.

Throughout all of this, guide yourself to always be acting from a position of strength: Are you fetching this woman a glass of water or holding the door for her because you enjoy doing that for her, or because you are seeking her approval? This is the core difference between acting like the man she wants or being that man. When looked at through this lens, you can quickly spot the strongest course of action in nearly any matter of doubt and deliberately shut down all those approval-seeking tendencies that aren't doing anything good for her impression of you as a powerful and sincere man in the first place. One of the best pieces of advice I can give you, is simply to do whatever allows you to have fun in your interactions with women - and in every other aspect of your life as well, for that matter.   Pleasing her is always secondary, and you will find that good women are both able and eager to follow your lead, when you act from the great position of strength, that this act, which others might consider odd or unconventional, was simply fun and what you genuinely felt like doing at that particular moment.

Along that same line, there is huge power to be found in the quirks and passions that set you apart from what is mainstream. A little known secret is that others can never make you embarrassed, but that it's instead a reaction that you can choose simply not to have, even if that throws the crowd's expectations of the situation completely off (which can be rather fun - feel free to laugh out loud at anyone who's gaping at your failure to express embarrassment with a situation that they would never dare put themselves in). Ceasing to be embarrassed, and just being comfortable with who you are, is already a powerful social mechanic, but if you're anywhere near as geeky as me, you'll have a couple of passions that are commonly considered low status (in my case, these might include gaming and live action role-playing) and as your social skills grow, you'll discover that these topics contain massive potential for inspiring attraction. There are a couple of strong factors playing in here: First off, allowing yourself to express genuine, authentic passion about a subject is just plain attractive as long as you in any way manage to make it engaging for her. Further, you are a person who can allow yourself to display what others would perceive as vulnerabilities without being intimidated - if you're into animal parallels, that is basically flat out alpha behavior, and the fun aspect of this and the reason that letting go of embarrassment becomes so easy, is that every challenge you get from your environment is an opportunity to inspire attraction by the mere act of not letting it throw you off. Now, if you can go beyond just being passionate and confidently vulnerable, into also presenting the topic in a manner that suddenly makes it engaging to her - or even better, if she's already into this geeky topic, and you are the person who can make that a high-quality and validating trait for her - you're on the right track on more levels than I can count.

On the same note, many people only feel confident when in their typical or competent environment - right down to famous world-class athletes who often become insecure as soon as they're put in a situation they know little about. You're going to find yourself in such situations and they're often going to overlap with the situations that bring you in touch with new and exciting women. Again, there's a pretty easy cheat to this whole thing, in that everyone can relate to this situation and the insecurity it brings most people. If you are at all into learning new things, you can just kick back and have fun learning, perhaps even taking advantage of the advice that the competent men and women in the environment can offer you. Being the person who can make this a fun adventure for yourself, and perhaps even pick up some cool skills from the local experts, even as you're at a clear disadvantage in the social setting and daring to play around and make mistakes while learning, speaks of a freedom from social pressure and fundamental confidence, that applies far outside your typical areas of comfort and competence. I'm not saying there aren't plenty of opportunities for building attraction by being capable, but never let your incapability in any specific skill hold you back, when the ability to just have fun, learn and experience new things is always a useful, fun and attractive trait to display - and again automatically taking any concern of having to perform and pose away, in favor of displaying a more genuine you.

Now that I've touched upon how easily weaknesses can be turned into strengths, I should also mention limiting beliefs: They are pretty common. They are not real. They are generally just made up excuses that begin to fade away as soon as you see that taking responsibility brings you more in control, and that the excuses might have seemed comfortable but were in reality just letting you hold yourself back. I won't go into too much detail here, but suffice to say that there are people who believe that they have been failing with women because they are short, tall, rich, poor, black, white, asian, latino, geeky, sports-focused, intelligent, have healthy standards or have some tiny moderately unusual physical trait that most women actually find attractive, though they've never bothered to ask. I'm going to be frank: There are some traits that more often than not count slightly positive, but the fact is that very few things have to count against you. As you delve into other topics on this site, you'll quickly see that having an attractive body is largely a matter of choice and actually a pretty easy thing to accomplish - particularly once you also build stronger social skills and become more confident in a masculine belief system. Now some women will still say that they prefer, say, tall men, but this doesn't really disqualify anyone. A practical way of looking at it is that women are going to get a swift impression of you and sort you in rough ranges: Say, below 60% might be "No fucking way", 61-85% "Maybe." and 86-100% "He's hot. I wonder if he'll be attracted to me." Each woman has unique physical preferences and some of your traits are going to push her buttons while others don't. What this means in practice is that for 95% of the women you meet, those few traits you can't change simply won't be significant enough (to them) to really change much at all. There are going to be women who prefer your traits, and even when you encounter someone who prefers the opposite, all that really means is that your other traits (most of which can be changed and improved to your advantage) will have to shine a bit more powerfully through. You'd be surprised how many women encounter an exciting Renaissance man who does the best with what he has, and then afterwards rationalizes that all her physical preferences now match him exactly - even if she used to state that she was into tall men and he turns out to be a 5ft 3".   Also you're going to have a ton of physical "oddities". Most of them are completely common ("My balls aren't completely symmetric!", "My dick points slightly to the left!" "I have this slight bit of fluff stuck in my navel when I pull off my t-shirt." OH NOES!) and most of the genuinely unusual details are either never going to be noticed or instead thought endearing and attractive. Fact is that love and attraction do funny things to people and that she will want to see you in the best possible light. Unless you actually make a big deal about something, she's likely to either overlook it or just add it to her mental list of all the little things that make you unique and special to her. Also be aware that society tends to enforce these appearance concerns with quadruple power on women, so when you lead and actually make her comfortable about her cute oddities, she'll be eternally grateful for the opportunity to follow that lead into a relationship where those things don't have to be a concern.

As you do begin to improve yourself in all areas, and realizing that you are in fact becoming the best thing the world has to offer the best women for you, one of the most powerful things you can do is to use yourself as a filter. I already speak of screening women and selecting wisely, but once you know you're on the right track, you really don't need to prove anything and it becomes a fully legit strategy to kick back and let her prove herself to you. Rather than indulging too much in any irrational worries about the relationship or holding back on expressing your true self for fear of offending her, this insight allows you to let go and kick loose. Of course you should be continually self-assessing and you will occasionally course-correct and realize there was something you weren't handling as well as you could have been, but the advantage of being so deliberate about your own growth is that you can pretty easily evaluate whether a problem or challenge is on your part. If it comes down to anything along the lines of "This is who I have fun being, but I wonder if she can handle it" or "I know I am the best choice she could make, but I wonder if she will see that", this is when you have to realize that you can guide and ease the process for her, but that you will eventually have to relax and trust that she is the right one for you. There are only two possible outcomes: Either she will appreciate and choose anything that is genuinely you, or she will turn out to not be the woman you expected her to be, in which case you're dodging a bullet by filtering her away as soon as possible. This approach is both valid in early interactions where you might find your behavior turning more extreme, as you learn it's a win-win scenario of either intensifying her attraction or scaring away a woman who wasn't right for you, but is also a mindset that you can use in order to stay sane in established relationships. In the end, a lot of irrational worries come down to the simple fact that what you are doing will work if she's the right woman for you, whether that involves trusting that she's intelligent enough to see that you're the best choice she could make or trusting that her morals and humor are compatible with yours, as you genuinely express what comes to mind. Of course, she could in theory fail, but in that case you're losing a person who isn't what you thought. And as she puts your worries to shame 10, 50, 1000 times... odds are that she is indeed that wonderful woman you can have faith in. When I am the person who can trust that I'm extremely attractive to exactly the women I find most inspiring, and who can surround myself with wonderful, sexy and exciting women despite not necessarily being all that attractive to 95% of women in general, this mindset is a great part of the reason. Despite all my screening skills, I am my own very best filter, and it's an extremely liberating experience.

Finally, on a more basic level, you should realize that seduction is often a fun game to women and that they enjoy being subtle about it. While you shouldn't hesitate to deploy and show initiative (either kissing her or expressing interest/inviting her to meet again another time) when the situation is right, don't expect her to express her interest and consent too explicitly. Don't get stuck looking for one huge hint of her interest, when she might in fact be dropping little hints all throughout your conversations. Seize on those as an expression of her interest, and do allow yourself to be optimistic: If her signals are ambiguous and you start assuming her to be attracted, the outcome is still going to be that she either enjoys following that lead of yours, or that she quickly filters herself. I do love it when you can stop second-guessing yourself and accept that you're headed for a win-win scenario regardless. =)

If you want more comprehensive overview of basic fixes, techniques and pitfalls, there are some excellent products to cover this. David DeAngelo's Double Your Dating is a cheap purchase and quick read that still covers this topic far more extensively from a pickup perspective. Moving to the even more ambitious approach, Brad P offers the 30/30 Club in which you basically subscribe and commit to getting this area of your life handled within one year, during which you will be given access to expert online coaching and virtually all of the teaching material he has ever produced free of extra charge. Brad P's Diary of a Pickup Artist is also both great fun and can serve to widen your perspective of what's possible with enough audacity. David D provides great mainstream basics and Brad P is quite possibly the greatest pickup teacher in the world. Both have their uses if you want to explore some of these areas in greater detail, but do watch out for the limitations in the pickup perspectives on dating, which I quickly sum up below. Feel free to skip these resources entirely and move straight on to more fundamental masculinity.

Masculinity and seduction

Masculinity is at the core of being a man who attracts women. You've already heard me touch upon it when speaking of being a man rather than a guy, but to go in-depth with this side of your identity, I recommend checking out Scot McKay's The Master Plan. This is the kind of product that says what you've sort of always known, but structures it so well that you can suddenly go forth with far greater power and clarity in this aspect of your personality, finally making coherent sense of it all.   Scot McKay is also my original inspiration for "deserving what you want" (women edition) and provides a ton of quality information for free in both his newsletter and his podcast, The Chick Whisperer.
(Scot McKay has offered a significant bundle discount on his programs and books for those who want to explore his wider selection. I can attest that he has excellent customer service and takes his 365-days unconditional money-back guarantee seriously)

Another excellent option is Beyond Seduction, which is really a hypnosis program. This is a program Mark Cunningham made for seduction students who had been used to using NLP and cheap tricks: They were expecting more of the same, but were instead subjected to full-scale hypnosis. Not for manipulating others, but instead for defining and becoming what they personally considered to be a powerful, dominant and masculine being. Beyond powerfully developing your own identity, this also serves as a great introductory product for getting started down the path of hypnosis. Aside from its benefits in teaching masculinity, the fact that it teaches hypnosis as a side-effect is also great for developing a more influential attitude and rapidly learning and developing your own identity in the longer term.

Moving from resources on to some additional advice:

Don't focus on your own concerns, focus on hers. It's the easy shortcut out of your head, places your full attention on her, makes you very aware of her mere humanity, and replaces irrational concerns with the powerful role as a masculine gentleman. If being around you means that she can feel at her strongest, most confident and most sexy, you can bet that you're having a powerful effect on her. The fact that this is an easy and fun way to distract yourself from irrational concerns, is just a sweet bonus.

Realize that, as a man, the initiative is always your responsibility at all times. By all means, you should of course treasure and respect her contributions as well - the key is that she contributes when inspired to and that she can at any time lean back and rely on you to make a decision. The same applies when it comes to approaching: I used to find it intimidating to blatantly approach women, but what finally gave me the ultimate shove past this limiting belief was episode 33 of X&Y On the Fly (another free Scot McKay product). They reach the conclusion that men actually tend to have it easier in their dating choices (if they approach), because many women feel constrained to the men who actually dare approach them. Realize that, whatever else she thinks of you, the act of openly approaching her with sincere and unapologetic interest builds massive respect for you, is generally met with sincere gratitude (as it is both a compliment and liberating for her), and immediately puts you ahead of all the guys who dare not do the same.

Start working on this habit and enjoy all the respect and authenticity it gives you. Even as you're still becoming comfortable with this, realize that the only way it isn't appreciated is if you encounter a deeply bitter woman you want to filter immediately. Again, in that case, you just dodged a bullet and there's nothing wrong with your approach. Do consider it a lesson for your screening skills though. =)

Spice

Beyond identity, first impressions do count as well. There's a lot to be said for being a man who does the best with what he's got, but the most essential thing is actually that you're presenting yourself by deliberate choice, rather than whichever random habits and circumstances society enforced on you. This means that while you don't have to have the fanciest clothes or be in your complete peak shape, it makes a huge difference that you have touched enough on those topics that they are genuine decisions rather than excuses for not bothering with something that intimidates you.

Brad P's Fashion Bible is an excellent book for quickly making you aware of what can be done with clothes and simply being aware of styles around you. I personally wound up coming full-circle from finding a fancy style and going back to something very casual with myself at the focus, but I now know what the pieces I wear communicate, and the mere fact, that my awareness has expanded to also notice and comment on the cool things that women are doing with their clothing, has proven of huge value in being able to complement and validate them in unique and genuine ways. These lessons are valid for any kind of wear, but if you're moving beyond just casual and party into full-scale suits, then Alan Flusser's Dressing the Man (.uk / .ca) is an excellent supplement that puts you beyond the current whims of the fashion industry and lets you be deliberate in picking out something more timeless.

When you are capable of presenting yourself well, also consider what you are advertising and to which extent. While a positive attitude and a body in great shape are nearly universal positives for attracting what you want, presenting yourself in a set of the latest fashion or purely expensive brand products might have unintended effects on the women you are targeting. Likewise, even if you're rich, you may find that you attract the entirely wrong kind of woman by being blatant about it. Being rich (at least the part of it that's useful in attraction) is more a state of mind, and a freedom with which you move through the world and seize opportunities.

Non-monogamous relationships and threesomes

The concept of dating multiple women at once seems impossible to many, but I can't claim there's some elusive trick to it - I've found that most women are actually very open to this arrangement as long as you are aware of what you are offering them and are up-front about it.

As so often in this, the first step is to consider what you really want. If you only want casual dating with benefits and don't want to offer any more, then that's fine, but my experience is that most men are actually looking to share great experiences with women they truly adore and appreciate, while also learning what they enjoy in a partner and eventually finding the one who is the best possible match. If you do not already have a lot of experience in dating, then I will certainly suggest that you at least allow yourself to go through a period of dating multiple women. It is quite truly a win-win scenario: Either you find out that something even better is possible, or (a more likely scenario by the time you are already with a great woman with good long-term prospects) you allow yourself to fully experience a different kind of woman who can both provide a couple of ideas for the direction you wish to steer your primary relationship but also and more importantly allow you to admire and appreciate qualities in your primary woman that you used to take for granted. If you choose that a period of allowing yourself to date multiple women without tying yourself up is the right thing for you (or perhaps for your partner, if you're dating a young woman with little experience? Remember that experiencing the alternatives allows her to better appreciate what she's got), then keep this win-win situation in mind, stand your ground and remain true to yourself. To me, this is just a part of who I am, and something I will readily express (not directed at her in particular) when the subject touches on identity, sexuality or long-term goals. Given that these are all favored topics of mine, it's pretty easy for me to make sure a woman is aware of what she's getting before the situation even arises when I might kiss her and take it from there, but you can decide how soon is appropriate for you. Again keep in mind that women love great sex and might well enjoy the convenience of that while single, so it's completely valid to be frank about it if a friends with benefits relationship is what you really desire. Likewise though, you want to be direct about it if you are more serious about her and consider her to have long-term potential, even if you are in a period of your life when you are not yet ready to be exclusive.

Speaking as someone who has gone through it, it can be emotionally tough (for both of you) when your partner is also dating someone else on the side. While I am extremely glad that I made the decision to let her have those experiences, and our relationship is stronger for her having had more freedom and experience in coming to the realization that I was the best man for her, I also realized that the emotional confusion was getting a bit too messy in our case. To deal with that, and since I had at that point realized that she was very likely the woman I did want to live happily ever after with, I made her my "primary" in the sense that any woman I've later started dating has been informed that I am dating someone else whom they shouldn't expect to be able to threaten, but that I'm still up for sharing great experiences. This has worked well for my purposes, but may limit you to only having friends with benefits on the side. Most of that status is all decided by how much time you invest in the individual relationships however.

Threesomes, I find, are much like non-monogamy in that if you find a woman you're seriously considering, you want to make her aware that it's part of who you are and what you want to experience - again not directed at her in particular and before you ever really get around to escalating the seduction. The crucial point is that in an established relationship, bringing in a second woman can feel like a huge risk for her to suddenly consider, whereas if it's been part of what she knew to expect from you from day 1, it will still be thrilling and a bit frightening but also more easily a fantasy she can secretly play around with and eventually share with you. Regardless of whether you've briefed her ahead of time, the easiest way to have threesomes is to both be genuine about your desire and fantasy for it, and to either do it with two women who are excited about it and are both casual relationships with nothing long-term to lose, or to do it with a treasured partner who can be utterly confident in how special she is to you. This is a place where selecting a high quality woman, who is both capable of trusting in her own value and of genuinely being the very best woman the world has to offer you, pays off immensely.

Also be sure to sidestep the idea that only a tiny fraction of women might be interested in threesomes. Sexuality is on a spectrum, and only two of the women I've had threesomes with have considered themselves fully bisexual, whereas the others weren't really intrigued by women one-on-one, but were turned on by the idea with a man there to lead the situation, liberating her from taking on a sexually dominant role. When my main woman and I seduce and date friends, we don't even pause to consider if they might be bisexual (nor does my main woman actually consider herself to be so). Fact of the matter is that threesomes can be intimate, fun and playful experiences that mostly any woman will eagerly enjoy as soon as you create an environment where she feels unthreatened and completely sexually accepted. Besides, it can be a really fun bonding experience as a couple because you can continue to enjoy the thrill of seduction even while you still have each other. =)

For considering a non-monogamous relationship, you might want to take a look at this article which quickly outlines various types of monogamy and might provide good inspiration for where you want the boundaries - even in a sexually non-monogamous relationship you may well share something else that is uniquely between the two of you. Scot McKay's How to Manage Your Wildly Successful Dating Life can also give you some tips on dating multiple women at once and evaluating what really matters to you.

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